If you have gone to church for any length of time, or have watched any bible based documentaries then you are well aware of who David is. We all know him as the courageous shepherd boy who killed a lion, and a bear to protect his flock. The youngest son of Jesse, who was not even called for when the Prophet Samuel came to anoint a new king.
He is the same David who went to the front lines and fought Goliath when no one else in King Saul's army would. He had the faith, the courage, and the trust that God would deliver this Philistine into his hands, all for the glory of God. He took 5 stones and a slingshot, but it only took one stone with the guidance of the Lord himself to bring the giant down.
That same shepherd boy became a mighty King. He ruled a nation! He had the courage to lead armies into battle on the front lines. He ruled with the guidance, and the blessings of God. He was God's anointed, his chosen one to rule the nation of Israel.
That same David who killed a bear, a lion, the greatest enemy Israel had faced at the time, and who ruled a mighty nation...had depression, and anxiety. Many times in the scriptures we see him writing about his feelings. His feelings of abandonment, defeat, and of his life. Today I want to break down one of his greatest struggles, when he is in hiding from his son, Absalom during his rebellion.
Psalm 55:4-5
My heart is sore pained within me: and the terrors of death are fallen upon me. Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me, and horror hath overwhelmed me.
It feels like he is describing your anxiety, right?
"My heart is sore pained within me" - Palpitations, racing heart, feeling like it will burst from within you right out of your chest, a heaviness.
"...the terrors of death are fallen upon me" - The what ifs that fill your mind. The worst case scenarios that play out.
"Fearfulness and trembling are come upon me" - This is self explanatory. How often do you shake, and quiver throughout your whole body as you are filled with the fear of fear...your anxiety.
"horror hath overwhelmed me" - Feeling like your whole body has been hijacked by something you can't stop, or control.
David was feeling, by definition of what he has described...anxiety! He has become completely overwhelmed with all the physical symptoms. His mind is overrun by the thoughts of what could be next, and all the worries that being in hiding has.
We have heard it said so many times that true born again christians shouldn't deal with anxiety or depression, not if they are trusting, believing, and casting all their cares on Christ. And here we have David, the man the bible labels as the man after God's own heart having anxiety attacks. Yes, his life is in danger, his being found is imminent, but his feelings are the EXACT SAME for those of us that believe our danger is in going to the dr, or in driving the car into town. Circumstances don't change the feelings or the name they have. Just as they are real for David, they are real for us too.
In verse 6 we can see David wanting to run away.
"And I said, Oh that I had wings like a dove! for then would I fly away, and be at rest."
David has reached a place of weakness, and despair. His world has turned against him, and all he has is the few men in his army that have remained loyal, and stood by him. He literally just wants to run away from it all, and leave it all behind.
His term of "wings like a dove" got me to thinking why he picked a dove. Of all the birds he could have chosen, why the dove? So I looked into it, and I found out some interesting facts.
Hawks - They fly swiftly, and picks off its prey in mid-flight. Hawks are ready to fight for their ground. They are prepared for their attack, and their attacker.
Eagle - They fly high, and are a symbol of bravery, strength, and courage.
Dove - The dove flies low. A dove takes shelter as quick as it can. Doves don't like noise, and prefers to be left alone.
In the birds listed before the dove, I am sure we could all name a season in our lives where we were each of them. I have been like a hawk, ready for the battle ahead of me. I have been like an eagle, and had the bravery, and strength to face what was going on in my life at that present time. My spirits were high, and I felt like I could take on the world! Bring it on!
At this time, David is in his "dove" season. He is low (depressed), he just wants to run away from the problems he is facing. He just wants the noise (his circumstances) to go away. All he wants is peace, and rest.
During this time, all David could do was wait. Pray. Tell God of his feelings, and what he was facing. Up to this point, we have seen that David does face depression, and anxiety. But what I want to show you next is how he fought it.
Psalm 3:1-2
Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! many are they that rise up against me. Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God. Selah.
David is seeing the numbers grow of those that are now against him, and have sided with his son, and his best friend. He has gotten so depressed, and filled with so much anxiety that people are starting to talk. His army is now talking among themselves.
"Look at him, he just lays curled up on the floor all day in tears, shaking. He isn't eating...there isn't any help for him".
I have been in a place where I personally felt like there was no hope for me, but I had family around me who believed differently. I felt like I just wanted to die, and I am sure that is how David felt. His circumstances were much worse off than mine ever were.
But look at that last word in verse 2.
Selah - to pause, to praise, to lift up, to weigh (think)
I can see him, looking up to the sky with tears rolling down his face...
"God, the numbers are growing, my soul is tired, my body is tired. Everyone around me says that you can't even help me."
David takes a moment. He pauses, takes a deep breath...
Psalm 3:3
"BUT THOU, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head."
David didn't listen to the voices around him that said there is no hope. David knew where his help, his strength came from.
Psalm 3:4
I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah.
Can you just see the people around him as he is praying? I bet the look on their face had to be one of sheer pity. "Poor thing, look at him...he's too far gone."
I can see David as he is getting to the part where he said "there is no help for him in God", with a blank face, then all of a sudden, he remembers his days in the pasture as he is taking care of his father's flock. He remembers the strength God gave him in killing the lion, and the bear. The strength God gave him to take down a massive giant that threatened everyone. He remembers the God that has brought him through so much. A smile appears, and his whole attitude changes.
He begins to tell God what he has been to him. He begins to praise the one he knows has stood by him in all of his battles. By the time we get to the next verse, there has been a change in David.
Psalm 3:5-6
I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people, that have set themselves against me round about.
After David prayed, and he praise...he had peace! His circumstances were unchanged. Nothing in his life has changed at all. What changed was his outlook.
What I have learned from this study of David is that in my worst moments when it seems like life can't get any worse, and anxiety has taken over is that God is still here. He is still the uplifter of my head. He will continue to walk with me though this battle of anxiety. Have my circumstances of anxiety changed? No...but my outlook has!
Be kind, you never know someones struggle.